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Ask Paul: Best money tips for men during a separation?
By Paul Clitheroe Published on September 23, 2025
Hi Paul,
Is there a finance book you can recommend for people navigating a separation?
Or any money tips you can share for a man going through a separation? - Andrew
The process of divorce and separation, as you know Andrew, is incredibly challenging and complex.
I have been asked this question so often over many decades, that with the assistance of one of my friends and colleagues, Money contributor Nicola Field, we wrote a book called Money, Marriage and Divorce. It is available for purchase online.
I think that would answer most if not all your questions.
Money tips are going to be completely dependent on the situation you are in after your financial settlement, your salary and more broadly your career. If a family home is sold, you may have significant assets, and you may or may not have child support.
My view is that buying a home, if this is financially possible, should be your primary objective. There are always moving parts to this decision.
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For example, you may need to move for work elsewhere in Australia or the world. Home ownership is a powerful step as you rebuild your finances after a separation, and I would argue that would be a key objective.
Beyond that there are so many variables dependent on you, your situation, age, attitude to risk and a lot more that must be considered before any money tip is of any use.
My view is that you get your separation settled financially and you rebuild from there, but with a focus on home ownership.
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7 responses to “Ask Paul: Best money tips for men during a separation?”
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I separated from my wife after 44 years. She never worked. Our kids left home when 22. I continued to fund her lifestyle for the next 10 years paying everything which in may years was in excess of 50% of my income. because I did the 'reasonable' thing, it was concluded we where still financially connected. She got 50% of everything. I would have been no worse off had I buggered of bush and left her to find her on way!!
I do understand how you feel but the reality is raising kids is considered a contribution. When the kids left home, and your wife didn't work, you were a couple so it makes no difference whether or who funded what. That's just the way it is.And just to let you know that I don't take sides, I was in a similar position. Came in at 60/40 split in my favour. I thought this was unfair even though his income was much larger than mine. I negotiated down to 50/50 (against legal advise).All I can say is life is too short. Don't let resentment consume it.
Can't imagine why she left you Jock . You seem to be such an eloquent and inspiring catch.See the positives in life, reconnect with your children and move on.
Nice to know men like you exist.Everyone including women are expected to have a job plus deliver on others expectations.Yr wife must have done something!Your kids must have benefitted!.Money should not define the finer details of your life- though it really feels that way when a rip off exists.
" fund her lifestyle" OMG 😆
When I separated from my first wife the Commonwealth Bank told me they would never loan me money while I was paying Child Support. I immediately changed banks.
Actually a reasonable money question a lot of people may ask from both sides that for the first time the response is 'find the answer elsewhere'…Sounds like something my GP would say….